Some people new to ADHD coaching come to me hoping that I can be a taskmaster for them, holding them strictly accountable in order to ensure they make progress towards their goals. 

They no longer trust themselves to get things done without someone else pressuring them.

However, we ADHD coaches often have more faith in our clients’ abilities than they do. Through coaching, my clients discover that there are better, gentler ways to achieve their goals.

When a client tells me that they need someone to step in and hold them “accountable,“ I  may ask them a few questions such as:

·  Why do they have this particular goal?

·  Why is this goal important to work on now?

·  What will achieving the goal accomplish?

·  How will their life be changed when the goal is reached?

The answers to these questions often reduce the client’s perceived need for “strict accountability” to some very minor level accountability. This can be in the form of a brief two word text from me on a particular day or time, or even just one from the client to me.   

Often, after just two or three sessions, not even that limited level of active support is wanted anymore. 

Make It Interesting

If a task can be made interesting, it may take less, (or zero) external accountability to initiate and/or complete. For many people, that is a much kinder way to motivate themselves than finding someone else to be tough on them. 

This works because ADHD brains are more interest-based than importance based*. For ADHD brains, an interesting task can be easier to start than even a much more  important task.

Reaching Goals With Less Stress

Our brains cannot function optimally if we are under stress, and strict accountability can create a stressful environment. 

By asking yourself why you want to do something and exactly how you will benefit from the result, you might find it easier to get started on whatever it is you have been putting off

Be Kind To Yourself

By being gentler on ourselves, and acknowledging our littlest successes, we allow our brains to perform more optimally. This is because stress plays havoc with our body and energy, and compromises the efficiency of our executive functions.** 

Because ADHD affects so many of our executive functions, we need to do everything we can to enable our brain to perform at its peak level of effectiveness.

Conclusion

Consider taking a second right now to imagine what your day would be like if you were able to be both gentle on yourself and productive.

Doesn’t that sound great?

Have a fun (and productive) day!

Notes:

*Most neuro-typicals’ brains are importance-based, so motivation is increased and task initiation is made easier when a task is made more important. However, most ADHD brains find it easy to start tasks that are interesting to them, no matter how important they are.

** According to Russel Barkley, Ph.D, the following executive functions can be affected to varying degrees by ADHD, depending on the individual:

1. Self-Awareness

2. Inhibition

3. Non-verbal Working memory

4. Verbal working-Memory

5. Emotional Self-Regulation

6. Self-Motivation

7. Planning and Problem Solving

From the article:  "What Is Executive Function? 7 Deficits Tied To ADHD", by Russel Barkley, accessed 20230310 at 2315 GMT from: https://www.additudemag.com/7-executive-function-deficits-linked-to-adhd/